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www.Frankie - Lassut.com

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Hi! Welcome to our site dedicated to amusement. Thanks for stopping by.

This is partly The Coventry Super-Nature Centre, the world's first and the only one ('no one else is quite, erm, loopy enough' .. we resent that!). We also thought we'd dedicate it to the late, GREAT, Steve Irwin as it is done in his spirit of love of nature (he was quite amusing himself). We also have a Phart Gallery (PHotographic ART) featuring the work of 'Fwanksy', Urbanian Phartist (he takes lots of pictures in urban surroundings ... to show that there 'is' beauty 'and humour' hidden in the concrete and litter of a city). Fwanksy even has a qualification HPFNB. Prize for anyone who can tell us what that means.

Below is a small part of our ever growing Super Nature Centre (when the opportunities arise for additions), our ‘new’ SYCAMORE SEED 'plus' ‘SHOW’ (photographed by Fwanksy) . Thanks for dropping by, we hope we can make you smile. Have a nice visit.

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SYCAMORE SEEDS usually fall to the ground flying like little helicopters. Nature, as well as being incredibly beautiful, is miraculously clever. These though we think have been genetically modified by a mad scientist somewhere. These little seeds are our ‘little bird’ seeds, cute aren’t they.

Fwanksy, who is a bit of a naturalist, told us: "In this case they aren’t angry, because they don’t see me as a hostile intruder and are actually posing for the camera (they like to show off). If they had thought I was looking at mating with their males (as if), they would have attacked and made an awful mess of my hair. Yes, female sycamore seeds are the ones who do the scrapping, the males are quiet, shy little things, little wall flowers.


 

They also get quite angry with each other especially at mating time due to hormones and here you can see two getting ready to duel; they fence with their antennae. When the females do this, the male usually thinks ‘silly females, fighting again! They should grow up!’ And then he goes shopping (retail therapy). No one knows, not even David Attenborough, where male sycamore seeds shop, or what they buy, or what they use for money, or even if they really do go (they may just go and sulk somewhere). It is a mystery which may never be solved, guaranteeing our research scientists juicy grants. Actually, the females, being extremely clever and manipulative just pretend to be angry and when the male has disappeared to the 'shops', they shake antennae and go to the pub (no one knows where sycamore seed pubs are, or if they exist at all, which includes the places where they go to sulk).

Females in the touché position getting ready to go to the pub, As you can see, the male has already left the scene.

This next one is a pheasant sycamore seed hunting for food on a mossy wall They are too small to shoot, so the gentry don’t bother trying. The only reason the gentry can hit real driven pheasants is because they’re sozzled (the gentry are too). They then have two to shoot at and usually hit the real one after shooting at the imaginary one which is a result of cross eyes due to a pint of the finest Napoleon Brandy.



This next seed is from our Reptile Seed House. This is a stunning tadpole of the genus Froggus Notyeymorphus. Our Super Nature Scientific Reasearch Department (a pub) reckons that these little tadpole seeds have a seven second memory like a goldfish, otherwise, this one would be thinking ‘I’m getting right pissed off swimming around this, whatever it is?' ... just like a human at work.

It’s actually a mini fishbowl, but sycamore seeds don’t know what fishbowls are, or even the word (or what a word actually is). 'Fishbowl, to a sycamore seed sounds like 'flobishw'... It simply feels pissed off but has no idea why, which is why humans are so lucky! This kind of scientific research is really easy, because you can just make it up. It is very surprising though just how many people believe it. Next thing? The local newspaper will send a reporter around and he or she will ask “Is it true you have a sycamore seed tadpole?”
“Yes of course! It has a very short memory like a goldfish, but it's very gorgeous.”
“Really?! You wouldn’t 'lie' to the newspaper would you?”
“Of course not! What do you take me/us for?”

 

 

Another of one of our 'bird' seeds. This is several seeds being a stunning cormorant sunning it's beautifully designed wings. Rather nice don't you think? All you need is an imagination (they're free!)

 

 

 


 

The superb sycamore cormorant hunting for pretend fish on a brick driveway.

 

Just to show you that we also have an aquarium, this is Arthur, our Cutprivet Guppy. I found Arthur on the floor of a National Agricultural Centre carpark, although Evo Nelliott (the centre's scientific researcher) claims to have seen him first, which is bollocks. She once claims to have heard a Peregrine Falcon quack ... yeah, right! (true).

 


Arthur, the lovely Cutprivet Guppy.

 

 

Nature is nature, so we don't stop at ground level. Here is a beautiful cloud eel ...

 

 

And our last beautiful super life-form for now ...

a 'gorgeous' Water Snail. Water is life, water is nature, water is extremely handy.

Can you see it? (It can see 'you')

 

We hope you enjoyed the glance into our Super Nature idea.

Other shots will appear in our 'phart' gallery as they happen.

 

As we like to (attempt to) amuse people because it feels good to all parties, we also have an e book shop, as Frankie is a writer of ('hopefully') amusing stories, which is another of his passions. So, if you're a reader of short/medium length stories which can cause smiles, you may want to have a browse. The shop is underneath the gallery link on the next page, as we have no desire to push-sell our books. Most of the stories are of the length which you may enjoy reading as you travel to work (or away from it). Anyway, enjoy Fwanksy's vision of the nice parts of Urbania (there are no graffiti shots). Thanks for dropping by.

 

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